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No means no, or does it?


No means no, or does it?

Posted on May 29, 2014by Madeline Derujinsky

Madline Derujinsky is a contributor to Feminine Collective. She is still in high school. SHE IS DAUGHTER OF MY FB FRIEND AND READER.

Her writing is her own voice and we are delighted to have her opinions on relevant topics.

No means no. Not anymore!

Recent events regarding perceived rejection have left me frankly, very scared and well worried for my life.

Maren Sanchez,16 year old, Milford, Connecticut high school student was stabbed in the neck and killed in April after refusing a prom invitation. The accused attacker, her middle school ex-boyfriendChris Plaskton was said to be a cutter and tried to kill himself.  People said “He just wasnʼt right … he had depression.”

Maren was set to go to prom with her boyfriend Jarrod Butts, who was hit hard by her death. He created a YouTube tribute in her honor. And, on the night of their cancelled prom, approximately 200 friends and classmates went to a beach, dressed in prom attire, to release purple star-shaped balloons in Marenʼs honor.

Just this past weekend there was another rejected youth  on a rampage.

Elliot Rodger, 22, a Santa Barbara City college student, shot and killed 6 people including his roommates, who he stabbed to death and others in a drive-by shooting near the University of California, Santa Barbara campus. He went on to kill himself making a total of 7 killed and several others injured.

Elliot Rodger was the son of well known Hollywood assistant director Peter Rodger. He has issued a statement saying he believes his son is responsible for the mass murder of six people in Isla Vista.

Prior to the shooting, Elliot released a bone chilling video to YouTube titled Elliot Rodgerʼs retribution. In the video, the alleged shooter said “I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blonde slut I see inside of there. ” He was referring to the number 1 sorority on the UCSB campus.

He continued talking about how he was the “supreme gentleman,” and how he didnʼt understand how girls, the girls he desired so much, could reject him.

Elliot Rodger saidwomen made him feel like the “inferior man.” That they would throw themselves at “obnoxious brutes.” He stated that on the day of his retribution they would finally see who was superior, who was the true “alpha male.”

Reports have shown that Elliot Rodger had long concealed mental health problems. On April 30th deputies even interacted with him to make sure he wasnʼt a harm to himself or to anyone else. He convinced them he was fine.

Feminism is bullsh*t.

I hear people constantly say this … feminism is bullsh*t. When shootings like this happen, we are reminded that collectively, women and men need to speak up against injustice in order to help prevent these kind of horrors from recurring. I mean, a woman rejects you, sexually or otherwise, and it makes it okay for you to kill her? How does one reconcile this in their mind?

Maren was an honors student, manager of her swim team, class president. She had big plans. She was my age, 16 years old—stabbed to death for saying no.

Elliot Rodger allegedly killed innocent people because they said no, because, as he claimed, they didnʼt give him his “right” to sex, fun, and pleasure. Is this what college is all about?

Elliot Rodger is not alone in his feelings of entitlement. This is a greater problem. Remember Mark Berndt, the 61 year old, Los Angeles elementary school teacher, who spoon fed his students his own semen in 2012?

Did you know that the number 1 most violent crime on American college campuses today is rape. Fewer than 5 percent of college women who are victims of this crime report it. Note that 90 percent of college rapes are by an acquaintance, i.e. at parties or on dates and rape in non-party and non-date situations (e.g., while studying). Rape on college campuses are so rampant the White House just issued guidelines to combat rape on college campuses this month.

Every 2 minutes, another American is sexually assaulted. It happens everywhere, amongst all ages. As a teenage girl, I still vividly remember my elementary and middle school years, and the themes boys would assign to days of the week, “Titty tap Tuesday” and “Slap ass Friday.” Not surprisingly, these were my least favorite days of the week.

In my opinion, it’s hard to tell the difference between a serial killer such as Ted Bundy, and shooters who kill mass amounts of people without any warning. I mean it took Bundy 4 years to kill 30 people, while it only took 20 minutes for Rodger to kill 6 and wound 13. Bundy certainly wasn’t the only cold-hearted son of a b*tch to come along and I’m sure there will be others.

Watching this story unfold has contributed to my fear of men. I do fear men. Should I have to? No. I don’t think so. I shouldnʼt have to walk out of my house and worry that the guy who whistled at me from the car window might shoot me if I ignore him. Or that my “guy friend” who offers me a ride home will pressure me for sex because heʼs spending gas.

Since when did a man being nice to a woman mean that a woman had to give them sex in return? When did saying no become something to fear. A reason to fear for your life even.

No means no.

It always has meant no. With these issues beginning to surface, it’s time to do something. Where does the change have to start? The home front? The education system? Society? Our government?

You tell me.

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TaggedAmerican College CampusesChris Plasktoncollege rapecuttercuttingdate rapedelusionalelliot rogerMaren SanchezMark Berndtmass murdermass shootingsmental healthmental illnessnarcissismPeter Rodgerpsychopathsexual assaultshootingsTed Bundyuniversity of california

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